Friday, January 17, 2014

One last hurrah

Had blood work done on Wed.  They did my FSH, and AMH.  My FSH came back great.  Only a 6.9.  The AMH takes a few days to come back.  So, I won't have that until monday.  The issue with this, is that the FSH can be a good #, but the AMH can be bad.  And, the bad wins.  Doesn't matter how good the other is.

With that news, my IFs want to try one more time.  My Dr doesn't want to change a thing.  He had the nurse call me.  I personally think I got lost in the shuffle.  I think he forgot about our conversation the day before.  I called today with another question about lining.  I knew he was out of the office.  I thought maybe we should do some kind of estrogen to build my lining.  Who knows what the issue was last month.  But, clomid is known for thinning your lining.  The nurse told me that if I don't have a thick lining they would cancel the IUI. Well, don't you think you would try and keep a eye on that ahead of time.  I am going to make a appt on the Monday before we do the IUIs for a follicle/lining check.  We didn't do that last cycle because it was Xmas eve and they were only open a few hours.   Well, this time, we have nothing going on.  Just normal life.  So, maybe it will happen?  I don't know.

This is their money, and they want to try again, so here we go.  I started clomid last night.  Once the nurse called me and said my FSH was good, and the guys said yes, it was GO time.  They had my prescriptions called in within 30 min.  This was 2 different pharmacies.  That in itself was impressive.  So, when I got home last night.  I ordered more OPKs, HPTs, and Crinone gel.  And, sent in the CC info for my trigger shot.  Whew.  Nothing like last minute.

I am crossing my fingers.  This is my last chance to get pregnant without missing my race in Nov.  If we get preg this cycle, I would be due in Oct.  But, I guess we have to get through this part first.

On other news.  I just finished reading the book Inconceivable.  Have you read it?  OMG.  Heart breaking.  I actually talked to the IM a couple of years ago about being a GS for them.  She is a wonderful lady.  Things didn't work out because we both had the same kind of Pre-E, and the Dr thought it would be a bad combination.  But, just reading that book, it holds a lot of truths for surrogates.  The going through pregnancy and having no baby afterwards.  Working against your biological demands afterwards.  Being happy the baby is here, but a feeling of loss afterwards.  Of course, there are differences, since the surrogate isn't looking to add to her family and didn't have a IVF screw up.  But, some very similar feelings.    If you get a chance to read it, DO.

I hope to update when I can.  I tried to keep everything on lock down last cycle.  My closest surro friend here didn't even know what was going on.  I hope she wasn't hurt that I didn't tell her.  I just couldn't get my hopes up after the first chemical.  Well, then to have another.  Wow!  Talk about a blow.  I can't help but feel responsible for it.  My body is suppose to be able to grow this baby, not let it go.  The guys don't really get it.  They are not women.  They tell me not to feel responsible, but its there.  No matter what.  If this cycle doesn't go the way its suppose to, then I am done with TS.
So, with that, I may or may not be chatting this cycle.  LOL  I may spill every detail to your guys, or I may just update afterwards with whats going on.  :)

Love to all!!!

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