Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Drs and Ebay and Mama bear

I had my big Drs appt yesterday with the endocrinologist.  I was super anxious about it.  Freaking out prior.  Talked with Gregg a lot about it.  I don't want to do insulin.  I did many injections during my egg donations and during the IVF for GS.  The needles you stick in your stomache are fine.  But, thinking more about it, I realized that when not pregnant, you grab a bit of fat and stick the needle in.  While pregnant, your skin is stretched.  It gives me the heebie jeebies. 
So, I get to my appt, sweating like a pig.  LOL  Talk with the Dr.  She was very happy with my progress.  My fasting glucose #s have been in the 90's, and now down to the 80's since I changed everything.  They want my fasting #s below 90.    I even lost 5 lbs on the scale.  She said I was doing really good with just diet and that we will continue that route.  If my #s start to go up then we will talk about doing insulin.  Hopefully we don't get there.   I see her every 2 weeks, I see my nutrionist every 2 weeks.  And, pretty soon, my OB much more.  So, thats at least 1 Drs appt every week.  :(

I have to check my blood 4 times a day.  OUCH!!  Once when I wake up and then after each major meal.  So, I now have a presciption for lancets and strips for my meter.  Picked up my stuff yesterday at the pharmacy. 
100 strips = $20  Not bad.  Checked it against ebay, mine are cheaper.
100 lancets=$25 Not covered by insurance.  Checked with ebay.  I can get 600 lancets for $25.  Guess where I will be ordering my next ones? 

I also changed my prenatals.  I HATE taking pills.  I really wanted to change to a liquid prenatal.  Took a trip to the health food store yesterday.  Got some RAW veggie based prenatals.  They are in capsule form.  So, that is great.  No nasty vitamin taste.
30 prenatals=$20  Taking 3 a day, that is VERY expensive!!  Checked with ebay.  Just bought 180 pills for  $32.

Thats why I love ebay!!  LOL

Alex has her big soccer tourny this weekend.  Her team is in 2nd place in the league.  They could take it all if they work together.  She had a scrimmage yesterday against a age older team.  Which is good for them.  Well, she started playing goalie about 1/2 way through.  She has never played goalie.  She plays center forward.  Which she is great at!  She is the reason they have won 2 of their games.  Well, she was having a really hard time with goalie.  Since it was for practice, the coach didn't want to pull her.   One of the girls on the team (coachs daughter), who is supposedly Alexs friend starting saying things to Alex.  Mean things about her sucking.  Well, Alex started crying.  She was so upset.  She cried all the way home.  I was pissed!!!    I know I am biased because she is my kid.  But, she is such a sweet kid.  I have raised her to treat others how she wants to be treated.  If she was a smart ass brat, I would tell her that if she can dish it out, well, then she can take it.  But, she isn't.  They call her smiley on the team because she is always smiling.  I have never heard her say anything bad to someone else.  When she gets tangled with someone on another team, and they fall, she feels bad about it.   Think I was growling?  Oh Hell yes!  So, their last practice is tomorrow.  It better be different, or there is going to be a problem.  :)

Hope everyone is having a great Halloween!!  This is probably our last one.  Maybe next year will be?  Don't know. 

Monday, October 22, 2012

adoption regret?

What a beautiful day here!  Its overcast, dark, and rainy.  I love these days after a super hot summer.  Although by the end of winter, I will be wishing for sun.  LOL  Never happy.

So, things are still the same with my oldest.  I have had 2 texts with her since the beginning of July.  She was posting pictures on facebook of the baby.  Then a few weeks ago, she was posting that she was going to spend the weekend with her family.  This "family" is her bio-dad.  The one who denied she was even his until a few years ago, and only with a DNA test.  So, then all these pictures followed of her with her "family".  I think that was the straw that broke the camels back.  I have since blocked her on my facebook account.  She still shows to be "friends" with me, but I can no longer see anything she posts.  Its just getting to hurtful.  She will drive hours to go see him, but I am not even allowed her address?  WHAT?  So, yes, this is old news.  LOL

So, I have been having many questions regarding this.  I figured I would reach out to other Birth moms and see what their take is on this.  Am I suppose to live my life by what she deems appropriate?  How long am I suppose to be the bad guy?  I feel pissed that I am not able to do what I want with my life, etc...  Now, if this was Alex having a problem with surrogacy, it would be a totally different situation.  I would not pursue it, if she was having issues.

So, anyways, I contact this group.  Its a private group online.  You have to contact the admin, then they run your info through the group and make sure everyone is ok , and then give you clearance.  So, a few days go by after I contact her.  She sends me a link to their group with a long email.  It states that she doesn't know if I will be welcome, that I may be hit with many questions about how I could do surrogacy after doing adoption.  About how the members of this group are very anti-adoption, etc.....  So, I give this a few days of rest.  I was kind of taken back with this email.  I wanted to let this info settle in before I opened myself up to them.  I am in no way anti-adoption.  I do feel guilty about the adoption.  Just because I feel more like I sacrificed my child for my own survival.  I was the child of a 16 yr old, I knew that there was no way I would do this to either her or I.  So, adoption was the best thing.  No regrets!
So, I eventually passed on joining this group.  I sent the lady a email stating that I wouldn't be joining them and thank you, but I wasn't feeling like that was a good place for me.  She emailed me back stating that many of these women have since reunited with their children and are in a different place as I am.  I just let it go.  But, I wanted to say, Look lady!  My kid is 22 and this isn't something so new.  LOL  So, ya, still have questions.  I am really in a place where many people haven't been.  And, those that have, the children adopted are still very young. 

On the surrogacy front.  We got our PBO last week.  I think the guys were stressing that it wouldn't go through.  I wasn't worried.  The lawyer they are using is horrible.  If I see anyone contemplating using her, I will quickly tell them to go someone different.   One thing that I have found is that they had paperwork filed with the PBO to seal the records.  That was something new.  This is my 4th surrogacy.  This is the first time I have had the records sealed.  I don't like it.  I just get a bad feeling with it.  Some people won't get why it bothers me, but it does.  I just see sealing the records as trying to keep things a big secret.  Come on now.  This is 2 men I am carrying for.  Obviously they didn't have a egg between the 2 of them to create this baby.   So, the egg had to come from somewhere.  

Did my 1 hour GTT last week.  Drs office called me friday and said my #s came back elevated.  Usually when this happens, you do a 3 hour.  Not this time.  Drs office said they didn't want to mess around with a 3 hour.  Just going to refer me to a specialist/dietrician.  So, hopefully by today I will hear from them.  Since they called I have completely gone nuts.  Haha  I have tried reading so much stuff online about GD to see what I can/can't eat.   I might as well be reading chinese, because it isn't making much sense.  I need a idiots guide to GD.  LOL

Hope all is well!!!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Good times!

Had a my Drs appt scheduled for this last Wed.  Got a great suprise too! 
Was having lunch with my IF, W.  We were sitting there talking, and the waitress had asked us if we wanted appetizers.  Told her no, and tried to keep talking.  Not a minute later, I hear a mans voice to my right asking us if we wanted to order any appetizers.  I turned , truly irratated that we were being bothered once again to see my other IF, C, standing there.  It took me a minute to realize it was him because I thought it was another waiter.  LOL  Was so suprised and very excited!!  I had both of them at the same exact time.  I couldn't of asked for more.

Walked around the mall drooling on a new pair of Uggs.  LOL  Then headed over to the Drs appt.  We had the NP this time.  Whom is awesome!  She takes her time and shows you everything on the US.  My normal Dr is usually running behind and tried to get through the appt fast because he has the pregnant women piling up fast.  LOL  But, Nancy took her time and showed the guys everything on this little man.  She took a ton of pictures to give them.  Very exciting.  The little guy shows to be about 1lb 9 oz right now.  He loves to suck on his hands.  Had them in his mouth most of the time.  Was very cool!  Everything is right on target.  Of course, my weight is up 4 more lbs in the last month.  Bleep Bleepity Bleep!  LOL  I can't blame it on the kid.  LOL

Almost to the 3rd timester!  Can't even believe we are almost there.  Time really has been going fast.  3 more months and he will be here.  My guess is the 13th!!  Which is 3 months exactly from today.  Today also marks Miss Percys 10th Bday!!  This is my oldest surro babe.  10 years!  Dang!  Where has the time gone?  Hopefully I get to see her tomorrow.    I was thinking about having this little guy on the 13th.  Miss Karlie was also born on the 13th.  So, 13th it is!!  :)

We are doing pretty good here.  Alex is doing good.  Playing soccer 3xs a week.  Tried practicing with her on thursday.  (not like running down the field, just kicking the ball back and forth)  Ya, I paid for it that night.  Could barely walk.  LOL  Gregg was laughing at me.  Said I looked like a old lady.  Pregnant?  Who me?  LOL

Gregg is getting ready to head down to Mexico for our big race.  Or I should say His big race.  Boooo!  When I first started trying to do this surrogacy, my plan was to be delivered by the time this race started to I wouldn't miss the race.  I am one of the drivers of the race truck.  And, one of the very few women out there racing.  So, its a pretty big deal.  But, we know how plans go.  Right out the window.   Although, he has had some people who were suppose to help pit, back out.  I told him I could talk to the guys and see if I could go help.  But, I would only be shuttling people around.  I wouldn't be of much help for anything else.  He told me No.  Because i wouldn't listen and would be trying to do stuff I wasn't suppose to do.  LOL  This conversation took place the day before kicking the ball with Alex.  When I was in pain the next day don't think I didn't get the big, "I told you so!"  LOL  I am secretly hoping that too many people back out.  LOL  I told him to just postpone racing this race, and we will run the 250 in Feb.  That way I will be able to drive my portion.  He is deciding.  :)

Hope everyone is doing well!  I haven't posted much as there generally isn't to much to post.  Which is good.  My baby boy is growing well and that is what we are working towards!  :)