What a beautiful day here! Its overcast, dark, and rainy. I love these days after a super hot summer. Although by the end of winter, I will be wishing for sun. LOL Never happy.
So, things are still the same with my oldest. I have had 2 texts with her since the beginning of July. She was posting pictures on facebook of the baby. Then a few weeks ago, she was posting that she was going to spend the weekend with her family. This "family" is her bio-dad. The one who denied she was even his until a few years ago, and only with a DNA test. So, then all these pictures followed of her with her "family". I think that was the straw that broke the camels back. I have since blocked her on my facebook account. She still shows to be "friends" with me, but I can no longer see anything she posts. Its just getting to hurtful. She will drive hours to go see him, but I am not even allowed her address? WHAT? So, yes, this is old news. LOL
So, I have been having many questions regarding this. I figured I would reach out to other Birth moms and see what their take is on this. Am I suppose to live my life by what she deems appropriate? How long am I suppose to be the bad guy? I feel pissed that I am not able to do what I want with my life, etc... Now, if this was Alex having a problem with surrogacy, it would be a totally different situation. I would not pursue it, if she was having issues.
So, anyways, I contact this group. Its a private group online. You have to contact the admin, then they run your info through the group and make sure everyone is ok , and then give you clearance. So, a few days go by after I contact her. She sends me a link to their group with a long email. It states that she doesn't know if I will be welcome, that I may be hit with many questions about how I could do surrogacy after doing adoption. About how the members of this group are very anti-adoption, etc..... So, I give this a few days of rest. I was kind of taken back with this email. I wanted to let this info settle in before I opened myself up to them. I am in no way anti-adoption. I do feel guilty about the adoption. Just because I feel more like I sacrificed my child for my own survival. I was the child of a 16 yr old, I knew that there was no way I would do this to either her or I. So, adoption was the best thing. No regrets!
So, I eventually passed on joining this group. I sent the lady a email stating that I wouldn't be joining them and thank you, but I wasn't feeling like that was a good place for me. She emailed me back stating that many of these women have since reunited with their children and are in a different place as I am. I just let it go. But, I wanted to say, Look lady! My kid is 22 and this isn't something so new. LOL So, ya, still have questions. I am really in a place where many people haven't been. And, those that have, the children adopted are still very young.
On the surrogacy front. We got our PBO last week. I think the guys were stressing that it wouldn't go through. I wasn't worried. The lawyer they are using is horrible. If I see anyone contemplating using her, I will quickly tell them to go someone different. One thing that I have found is that they had paperwork filed with the PBO to seal the records. That was something new. This is my 4th surrogacy. This is the first time I have had the records sealed. I don't like it. I just get a bad feeling with it. Some people won't get why it bothers me, but it does. I just see sealing the records as trying to keep things a big secret. Come on now. This is 2 men I am carrying for. Obviously they didn't have a egg between the 2 of them to create this baby. So, the egg had to come from somewhere.
Did my 1 hour GTT last week. Drs office called me friday and said my #s came back elevated. Usually when this happens, you do a 3 hour. Not this time. Drs office said they didn't want to mess around with a 3 hour. Just going to refer me to a specialist/dietrician. So, hopefully by today I will hear from them. Since they called I have completely gone nuts. Haha I have tried reading so much stuff online about GD to see what I can/can't eat. I might as well be reading chinese, because it isn't making much sense. I need a idiots guide to GD. LOL
Hope all is well!!!