Wednesday, February 29, 2012


2nd IUI is done. Now we wait. I will have a progesterone test next Thursday to make sure I ovulated. I know I did because I felt it last night. But, have to please the Drs. Then it looks like he is going to put me on progesterone supplement just to be on the safe side. After the MC in Dec, I am happy to do that. Don't want to have another MC.

My IF, W, is funny. He keeps asking me if I feel pregnant or if I am craving anything yet. LOL

Tuesday, February 28, 2012


1st IUI down, 1 to go. If for some reason I don't ovulate tonight, we will do a home insem on thursday. Just to be on the safe side. Since we did a IUI, we are still clear on the PBO. Which is good.

Today I think I finally found the difference between working with a IM and a IF. IMs have been through so much heartache that its hard for them to get excited about this stuff. There is excitement there but it is tarnished by what they have had to endure already. They don't want to get their hopes up again.

With IFs its quite different. They haven't been through years of treatment to see whats wrong, IVF, meds, etc... They come into this with excitement.

The IMs I have delivered for have been great! I have never felt resentment or jealousy from them. They have always treated me with respect. But, I have come across some IMs with emotional issues stemming from infertility. Where you can just feel it through the words on the screen. But, on the other hand, I have also seen some IFs with serious control issues.

I am thankful to each IP I have worked with. Good or bad, they have all taught me something.

Monday, February 27, 2012


OMG! My OPK is + tonight. CD12. I usually don't get them this early. Cross your fingers!! :)

Good times!

I haven't posted in a week. So, there is a lot that has happened. I spoke of my IFs a bit ago. We have been chatting almost a year. They would ask me for advice on surrogacy. Just chit chat, etc.. Well, we were both in the process of looking for another half for surrogacy. We decided to work together. And, here we are. They live on the east coast, and I live on the west coast. So, a face to face meeting has never happened. They came out this past weekend. What a great time!!

They had some issues getting into town. First their planes were cancelled due to weather so they had to take later flights. Then when they finally got into SF, the rental place was out of cars. So, they some how got a car, while other people stood by waiting for cars to return. And, then about 2pm started the journey from SF to Modesto. If any of you know Bay Area traffic. Then you know this wasn't good. This was also on a Friday. LOL
So, they finally got to town and we met for dinner. Had a great dinner. Talked and laughed. I had to go to work so it was a short visit. We were planning on meeting the next day once I was up and moving.

Saturday we met up and I drove them around town. Showed them were the DRs office is, the hospital, etc... Then we had a appt to take care of the notary for contracts. With everything signed and ready to go, we had time for some fun.

So, we went to a local festival. It doesn't seem like any of us were ride freaks. LOL So, I talked my daughter Alex into riding the ferris wheel. One IF and I had many laughs at Alex and the other IF. They were a little freaked out. Haha

W (one of the IFs) had to leave early Sunday morning. Him and I texted for quite awhile until he had to get on the plane. I had plans to take C (the other IF) to a hockey game on Sunday. Hockey is his favorite sport. We had about 10 people. Alex took a girlfriend with her. Gregg was too behind with work so he didn't make it. But, we had a great time!! C got along with everyone. All the kids loved him. :)

I work today and tomorrow. So, C is out galavanting the country side. :)
I have started OPKs. Today is CD12. I am hoping to see a + on Wednesday. We will then do IUIs either Wed/Thurs, or Thurs/Fri.

I am really happy with where we are in this. Timing has worked out great. We have talked/texted/emailed every single day.

Oh, I went and saw my granddaughter last Wednesday also. She is so tiny and so very cute. It was a good visit. It was more of a eye opener visit for me.

I am a romantic. I love happy endings. I guess I have been living in a fairy tale of sorts with my relationship with her all this time. I thought we were working towards a Mother/daughter relationship of some sorts. I wanted to be considered a grandma to this baby. Sadly to me, this is not the situation. My daughter has a mom, that is not me. While I am sad about this, and want so much more, I can only be happy for my daughter. This is what she has wanted. To be a mom. Her mother has not let that happen before. So, Cat is in heaven. She is a mom and wants more eventually.

My realtionship is what it is. There is no definition. I just have to let it go and see what happens. No expectations. Which is hard for me.

But, life is good. Everyone is healthy and happy, and that is all that matters.

Love to all!!! xoxox

Monday, February 20, 2012


I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I cry at movies, commercials, books, etc.. I have no issues with showing them to anyone. But, it does make it hard to see friends going through hard times. I am a Virgo, I am a nurturer. I hate to see family/friends be sad. Cry. Whatever. I would always rather take the brunt of the problems then see them suffer.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Super Excited!!

So, I have been chatting with a set of IFs since early last year. Our schedules never meshed up. If I was matched with someone, they were looking, if I was looking, they were matched. So, here we are. Both of us were looking. They will be here in 2 wks. I am so excited!! They are great guys!! I love chatting with them. Hopefully we have great luck!

I had a appt today with Dr C. Just to make sure we are on the same page. We were going to do a trigger the last time we did IUIs in Nov. But, I was able to get pregnant. But, then we MC in Dec. So, he doesn't want to do the trigger since I ovulate on my own. But, wants to do progesterone support after we do IUIs. Just to be on the safe side. :)

This will be my IFs first try with insems. They are very excited, as am I. Will keep you updated!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Heavy hearted

I started my day off broken hearted.... It is a very bittersweet day.

My granddaughter was born yesterday. Little Violet Louise came into the world about 8:10pm.
My daughter and Gdaughter are both healthy and happy. And, of course, a bit tired. :)

My Daughters baby shower was Sat. night. We went, and when we got there I could tell something was up. Something was different.

A little back ground. I had my daughter at the age of 16. I placed her for adoption at birth. It was a semi-open adoption up until a few years ago. Then it became completely open. Her family , I thought, was great at the time. Come to find out, her mom was giving her valiums anytime there was a issue, and her Dad was getting high with her. Not your typical American family. So, needless to say, she has been having issues with life. She got married last year and got pregnant soon after. I have tried to make it a point to see her at least once a month. Things have seemed to fine with her parents and I. We do her Bday parties together. Never any issues.

So, we get to the baby shower. My youngest daughter has always been referred to as C's sister. No Half, step, etc... Just Sister. Well, her mom has friends there I have never met before. She starts introducing A as C's 1/2 sister. I am just J. Usually I am , J, C's Bmom. Then after her friends left, A was called Sister again. So, I am already feeling something going on here. Then I find out that they had another baby shower for C. It was just "family". Huh? I guess, I thought thats what we were.??

So, my daughter went into labor yesterday. I wanted to be there with her so bad. I wanted to help her through labor. Be there when my gdaughter came into the world. I was not invited. I was updated here and there about her labor. I found out the birth weight on face book. I cried last night. So much. For everything I thought this was. I guess I was delusional. I don't even know.

My Mom and I chatted about this. We knew at the party there was no way I was going to be apart of the birth. C's Amom was way to threatened. There is no way I can say something or just showed up. My role in this relationship is whatever they offer. As a birthmom you are not in a position to make demands. You just have to sit there and take whatever the parents want to throw you. And, like it.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Ok, so I have deceided that I am not going to say anything about any IPs I am talking to. Everytime I do, something happens, and they disappear. LOL So, no more. My next post will be something like .... Hey look at this + HPT! Hahaha

I feel like I am speed dating. On another note, I had someone tell me I was to old to be a GS. WHAT?? Makes me chuckle.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

baby steps

So, here I am at the beginning yet again. Trying to find IPs that want to do this. I have been expecting a email from a single IF in Hawaii, IPs from OH, IPs from NV..... I have a couple of agencies that are looking for IPs. Just meditating so I don't get frustrated. :)