Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Its a .............

My IF, C, was here this past friday.  We had a great appt.  Our appt was with my reg OB, not the CNM.  He is a pro at US'.  LOL  He started the US, and you can see the baby moving all over the place.  Squirming around.  Little fingers, toes, arms, legs.......  C was suppose to be recording the US on his phone for W, who was at home.  So, my OB and C were in a conversation about military and Fire depts.  LOL  I kept saying, "hey, aren't you suppose to be recording?"  I am sure you can here me nagging on him throughout the video.  I figure if we didn't get a good video, W, would be pissed.  LOL 

But, baby looks great!  Was actually measuring a few days ahead.  Which is good.  Spine looks great!!  All is well.  Dr P has a great track record with seeing gender early.  And, baby was all to happy to show it off.  :)  So, he moved the wand over and I swore I saw girl parts.  I am very good with girl parts.  Since I have had 4.  LOL  He moved it a bit more, and I said, Ok, maybe I am wrong.  LOL  After the US was done, Dr P was typing the info into his laptop.  We already had a plan, that if he could tell, he wasn't to say anything.  That I would write it down on a piece of paper and give it to the guys to open at the same time.  :)

So, I walked over to Dr P, and saw MALE on his screen.  I pointed at it, and said, Really?  And, he said, yep!  So, here I am again.  IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!  The guys couldn't be more excited!!!!

Still fighting the nausea.  Which I would of swore I was carrying a girl.   But, nope, this little boy will be a handful when he gets here.  LOL

Crazy dreams kind of peetered off for a while.  But, are now back.  Dang the last 2 nights and brought some really STRANGE dreams.  LOL  Ones where you wake up and wonder, WTH?


Monday, July 16, 2012


So, I was only 16 yrs old when I was pregnant with my oldest.  I delivered her 12 days before my 17th bday.  When I was pregnant, so many people were against the pregnancy.  My mom, Cats bio dad, friends, etc...  I was told I would either place the baby for adoption, or leave the house and go on welfare.  I was only 16.  So, I choose adoption.  It was a semi-open adoption up until 4 1/2 yrs ago.  We met face to face.  I had just delivered my 2nd TS baby. 

I have always been very open about these babies to everyone.  Genetic link, etc..  No holding back.  Thats the way I like it.  If you try and hide stuff, it always turns up later.  If you are just open from the beginning, its out there, no worries coming at you later on.   I have talked about my Mom before.  She is totally against surrogacy.  Hates it.  Wants no part of it.  She tells me I am giving away her grandchildren.  I have told her she can be apart of thier lives.  My PIPs have nothing to hide or worry about.  But, nope, my mom says it would be too hard.  Ok, no problem.  Thats her stuff.  I walked away from that guilt trip awhile ago.    Although this pregnancy she is being great!  Usually I avoid her when I get pregnant.  This time we have trying to spend time together.  No smart ass remarks from her.  Its been sooooo nice.  I don't need her support, I just need her to not be a pain in my ass.  LOL

Sooo,  my oldest daughter, Cat, had her 1st child in Feb.  I blogged about it.  It was a painfully emotional experience for me.  Since she had the baby, she has really backed away from me.   I figured it was a, "Iam going to prove you wrong and raise my baby.  Since you didn't raise me." thing.   Her contact has gotten smaller and smaller.  Well, last week she went up the hill to see her bio dad.  Show the baby off.  Drove right by my house.  I mean within a mile.  Didn't say anything.  I told her I wish I would of known she was in town, I would of loved to see her.  She told me she was tired, it was a long drive home, etc..  No problem.  I invited her to a bday party this coming weekend.  No reply.  I texted her last night asking how her schedule looked this week.  No reply.  Texted her again this morning asking about the next couple of days.  No reply. 

Finally this afternoon she texted me back that she was sorry for not responding to any of my texts or msgs.  But, that she couldn't talk to me.  That she was really uncomfortable with this pregnancy.  (mine)  And, other things, but that she didn't want to talk to me.

What????  After I stood by you, when your parents and friends turned their backs?  Who was there when you got married and no one showed?  Me?  Who was still there for you, when you were shooting up?  Me.

This girl who no one was happy to have come into this world, is now acting the same to this new baby.  I am so pissed, I can't see straight. 

Friday, July 6, 2012

Being the "other" surrogate?

So, this post may sound kind of strange.  LOL  I know, nothing new.  I have been in the surrogacy world for 10 years now.  A little over 10 years, as my 1st GS baby will be 10 this Oct. 
I have talked to MANY IPs.  MANY.  Some I loved, some were deleted right away.  LOL
I have had the opportunity to work with a handful of amazing IPs. 

But, what happens to the previous surrogate when the IPs start working with another surro?  Its kind of a weird feeling.  Its almost as if you are the X girlfriend of some guy, and now he has a new girlfriend.  No longer do you have that chatty connection.  Which is what I think is the hardest, no matter what kind of relationship comes to a end.  It just seems to kind of go Poof!  Gone!  I am happy these IPs have gone on to keep with their dreams.  I know I am not the only TS on the planet.  Although, my only child mentality sometimes lets me believe that.  HAHA!! 

I don't know what I am rambling about.  Just a weird set of feelings.  LOL  Hey, I am all sorts of pregnancy hormonal!!  LOL