Its a .............

My IF, C, was here this past friday.  We had a great appt.  Our appt was with my reg OB, not the CNM.  He is a pro at US'.  LOL  He started the US, and you can see the baby moving all over the place.  Squirming around.  Little fingers, toes, arms, legs.......  C was suppose to be recording the US on his phone for W, who was at home.  So, my OB and C were in a conversation about military and Fire depts.  LOL  I kept saying, "hey, aren't you suppose to be recording?"  I am sure you can here me nagging on him throughout the video.  I figure if we didn't get a good video, W, would be pissed.  LOL 

But, baby looks great!  Was actually measuring a few days ahead.  Which is good.  Spine looks great!!  All is well.  Dr P has a great track record with seeing gender early.  And, baby was all to happy to show it off.  :)  So, he moved the wand over and I swore I saw girl parts.  I am very good with girl parts.  Since I have had 4.  LOL  He moved it a bit more, and I said, Ok, maybe I am wrong.  LOL  After the US was done, Dr P was typing the info into his laptop.  We already had a plan, that if he could tell, he wasn't to say anything.  That I would write it down on a piece of paper and give it to the guys to open at the same time.  :)

So, I walked over to Dr P, and saw MALE on his screen.  I pointed at it, and said, Really?  And, he said, yep!  So, here I am again.  IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!  The guys couldn't be more excited!!!!

Still fighting the nausea.  Which I would of swore I was carrying a girl.   But, nope, this little boy will be a handful when he gets here.  LOL

Crazy dreams kind of peetered off for a while.  But, are now back.  Dang the last 2 nights and brought some really STRANGE dreams.  LOL  Ones where you wake up and wonder, WTH?

xoxox

Ironic?

So, I was only 16 yrs old when I was pregnant with my oldest.  I delivered her 12 days before my 17th bday.  When I was pregnant, so many people were against the pregnancy.  My mom, Cats bio dad, friends, etc...  I was told I would either place the baby for adoption, or leave the house and go on welfare.  I was only 16.  So, I choose adoption.  It was a semi-open adoption up until 4 1/2 yrs ago.  We met face to face.  I had just delivered my 2nd TS baby. 

I have always been very open about these babies to everyone.  Genetic link, etc..  No holding back.  Thats the way I like it.  If you try and hide stuff, it always turns up later.  If you are just open from the beginning, its out there, no worries coming at you later on.   I have talked about my Mom before.  She is totally against surrogacy.  Hates it.  Wants no part of it.  She tells me I am giving away her grandchildren.  I have told her she can be apart of thier lives.  My PIPs have nothing to hide or worry about.  But, nope, my mom says it would be too hard.  Ok, no problem.  Thats her stuff.  I walked away from that guilt trip awhile ago.    Although this pregnancy she is being great!  Usually I avoid her when I get pregnant.  This time we have trying to spend time together.  No smart ass remarks from her.  Its been sooooo nice.  I don't need her support, I just need her to not be a pain in my ass.  LOL

Sooo,  my oldest daughter, Cat, had her 1st child in Feb.  I blogged about it.  It was a painfully emotional experience for me.  Since she had the baby, she has really backed away from me.   I figured it was a, "Iam going to prove you wrong and raise my baby.  Since you didn't raise me." thing.   Her contact has gotten smaller and smaller.  Well, last week she went up the hill to see her bio dad.  Show the baby off.  Drove right by my house.  I mean within a mile.  Didn't say anything.  I told her I wish I would of known she was in town, I would of loved to see her.  She told me she was tired, it was a long drive home, etc..  No problem.  I invited her to a bday party this coming weekend.  No reply.  I texted her last night asking how her schedule looked this week.  No reply.  Texted her again this morning asking about the next couple of days.  No reply. 

Finally this afternoon she texted me back that she was sorry for not responding to any of my texts or msgs.  But, that she couldn't talk to me.  That she was really uncomfortable with this pregnancy.  (mine)  And, other things, but that she didn't want to talk to me.

What????  After I stood by you, when your parents and friends turned their backs?  Who was there when you got married and no one showed?  Me?  Who was still there for you, when you were shooting up?  Me.

This girl who no one was happy to have come into this world, is now acting the same to this new baby.  I am so pissed, I can't see straight. 

Being the "other" surrogate?

So, this post may sound kind of strange.  LOL  I know, nothing new.  I have been in the surrogacy world for 10 years now.  A little over 10 years, as my 1st GS baby will be 10 this Oct. 
I have talked to MANY IPs.  MANY.  Some I loved, some were deleted right away.  LOL
I have had the opportunity to work with a handful of amazing IPs. 

But, what happens to the previous surrogate when the IPs start working with another surro?  Its kind of a weird feeling.  Its almost as if you are the X girlfriend of some guy, and now he has a new girlfriend.  No longer do you have that chatty connection.  Which is what I think is the hardest, no matter what kind of relationship comes to a end.  It just seems to kind of go Poof!  Gone!  I am happy these IPs have gone on to keep with their dreams.  I know I am not the only TS on the planet.  Although, my only child mentality sometimes lets me believe that.  HAHA!! 

I don't know what I am rambling about.  Just a weird set of feelings.  LOL  Hey, I am all sorts of pregnancy hormonal!!  LOL

oh ya!!

ok, so guess where I want to be on Friday night???????  Or Friday when they first open.  Haha

Times flies.....

Goodness I don't even know where to start.  Seems like quite awhile since I have posted. 

I have been super sick.  Some days I feel ok, and I rush around trying to get stuff done before the nausea hits again.  Then other days I feel so bad that I lay on the couch for most of the day just feeling crappy.  I am almost out of the 1st trimester and hoping this morning sickness in on the tail end.  My other pregnancies I am usually over the MS by the 2nd tri comes along.  Crossing my fingers!!!

This past Saturday was so busy.  My friend who died in Jan, his wife was moving this weekend.  She still has his wrecked motorcycle.  She can't get rid of it because of insurance and lawyers.  So, she needed help moving it.  Many of our friends said they couldn't handle seeing it.  I figured his wife and kids have looked at that bike for the last 6 months.  Everyone else can suck it up and deal.  I wasn't sqeamish about it.  I dismantled a bike a couple years ago that a guy in town commited suicide on. 

Anyways, I hate waiting around for people to decide what to do.  I am a supervisor at work.  I am use to barking orders.  LOL  So, I had arranged for a tow truck to come pick the bike up.  I figured I would over see getting it to the new house.  Got there and had a few guys who were fine with handling it.  So, they ended up putting it onto our trailer.  We spend the next few hours getting her moved and garbage picked up.  I had worked the night before, and had to work that night also.  I was super tired.  I slept here and there.  Whenever I could.  :)  But, I came home to a wonderful suprise.  My IFs had sent me chocolate covered strawberries.  YUMMY!!!  I took a picture but will have to post it later.  :)

Got home from work on Sunday morning.  Went potty and was spotting.  I freaked!!!  I tried to go lay down.  I figured it might just be one of those things and if I layed down it would go away.  Well, I layed there and couldn't sleep.  I was stressing.  I am not religious by any means, but I started praying.  This is the way my MC started in Dec.  6 months to the day.  On a Sunday also.  Of course, I didn't start thinking about this stuff until later.  So, I got up and told DH that I was headed to the hospital.  He was worried too.  Got there, put in the room next to the one I was in last time.  :(  Started thinking about dates and times, and was really freaking myself out.   The nurse came in and said they needed to take blood to run my #s.   He comes in with 4 vials.  I think my eyes bugged out.  I gave him a hard time.  LOL  He took my right arm, I told him the veins were deep in that arm.  So, he looks at my hand.  Ya!  OUCH!  He shoved a stick in my hand to get blood.  LOL  I now have a huge lump and my skin is turing all shades of nasty.   Looks like I had a IV the size of a straw. 

My poor IF, W, was home alone and having his own stress party.  My BFF showed up shortly after my blood removal party.  She was trying to calm both of us down.  The US tech came in and did the ultra sound.  Its the same tech I had in Dec.  Too much coincidence.  So, he went to the baby first thing.  And, there it sat, wiggling around, with its little heart pumping away.  He went there to give me peace of mind.  He did all the measurements, and baby was measuing 10wks 1 day.  Right on track.  Dr came back and said my hcg #s were 155k. 

Today no spotting.  Yay!!  Just seems like one of those things.  I have a call into my OB today.  I want a progesterone blood draw done.  The nurse said they were doing one yesterday but, ended up not doing it. 

I ended up ordering a home doppler this morning.  A little peace of mind for the next couple of months until I can feel this little tadpole moving around.

xoxox

miracles and massages

Sorry to leave you hanging.  This stupid morning sickness makes me not want to do much of anything.

We had our appt on Wed afternoon.  Was feeling pretty good until we got to the Drs office.  Then started getting super nervous.  My IF was the opposite.  He was nervous early on, and then excited.  LOL  We got into the office.  I made my IF and my daughter (to keep him company) go behind the curtain so I could disrobe.  Because of course, since I had a entourage with me, the Drs office wanted to do my pap smear.  So, they only got the audio and not the visual.  LOL
Once the CNM was situated and had the "wand" in, we called W and Alex out.    W was amazed.  My CNM was so great!!  She was as excited as we all were.  She took her time to show W everything, and explain so much to him.  It was wonderful.  W took lots of pictures and lots of video.    After a big hug, I kicked him out so I could put clothes back on.  :)  He needed to go call C anyways.  He sent C the video and pictures.  I talked to C when we got out of the office.  He was also super excited and a bit speechless.  LOL  Its just amazing to think here we are.  You go into this knowing what you want to happen.  But, when it happens, its kind of a shock.  Like, OMG, this Really happened!!  LOL

W was flying out that night, so we spent the rest of the day trolling the mall, and then having dinner with my husband and BFF.  Was a good day.  I of course, came home and passed out by 845.  LOL

Had a massage yesterday.  OMG, I was drooling!!  I have decided to make a pedicure and a massage part of my monthly regime. 

Don't know when I will update again.  After the MS has left the building, I will be back to my normal posting.    Either that or I will add my IF , W, and have him start posting.  :)

Love to all!!
xoxox

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my first US appt.  My IF, W, will be here.  I am nervous.  You just never know what will happen. 
My MS is in full swing.  I feel crappy all day long.  I try to sleep but its hard.  I have been on zofran the last 4 pregnancies.  I got a new prescription in Dec.  But, it doesn't seem to last.  I got a new prescription yesterday, thinking maybe the other had lost its umph.  But, it doesn't seem to be working.  Maybe I have grown accostomed to it.  I tried the unisom/b6 combo last night.  Woke up a bit groggy but so far feeling ok. 

Will update after tomorrows appt.

xoxox