Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Drs and Ebay and Mama bear

I had my big Drs appt yesterday with the endocrinologist.  I was super anxious about it.  Freaking out prior.  Talked with Gregg a lot about it.  I don't want to do insulin.  I did many injections during my egg donations and during the IVF for GS.  The needles you stick in your stomache are fine.  But, thinking more about it, I realized that when not pregnant, you grab a bit of fat and stick the needle in.  While pregnant, your skin is stretched.  It gives me the heebie jeebies. 
So, I get to my appt, sweating like a pig.  LOL  Talk with the Dr.  She was very happy with my progress.  My fasting glucose #s have been in the 90's, and now down to the 80's since I changed everything.  They want my fasting #s below 90.    I even lost 5 lbs on the scale.  She said I was doing really good with just diet and that we will continue that route.  If my #s start to go up then we will talk about doing insulin.  Hopefully we don't get there.   I see her every 2 weeks, I see my nutrionist every 2 weeks.  And, pretty soon, my OB much more.  So, thats at least 1 Drs appt every week.  :(

I have to check my blood 4 times a day.  OUCH!!  Once when I wake up and then after each major meal.  So, I now have a presciption for lancets and strips for my meter.  Picked up my stuff yesterday at the pharmacy. 
100 strips = $20  Not bad.  Checked it against ebay, mine are cheaper.
100 lancets=$25 Not covered by insurance.  Checked with ebay.  I can get 600 lancets for $25.  Guess where I will be ordering my next ones? 

I also changed my prenatals.  I HATE taking pills.  I really wanted to change to a liquid prenatal.  Took a trip to the health food store yesterday.  Got some RAW veggie based prenatals.  They are in capsule form.  So, that is great.  No nasty vitamin taste.
30 prenatals=$20  Taking 3 a day, that is VERY expensive!!  Checked with ebay.  Just bought 180 pills for  $32.

Thats why I love ebay!!  LOL

Alex has her big soccer tourny this weekend.  Her team is in 2nd place in the league.  They could take it all if they work together.  She had a scrimmage yesterday against a age older team.  Which is good for them.  Well, she started playing goalie about 1/2 way through.  She has never played goalie.  She plays center forward.  Which she is great at!  She is the reason they have won 2 of their games.  Well, she was having a really hard time with goalie.  Since it was for practice, the coach didn't want to pull her.   One of the girls on the team (coachs daughter), who is supposedly Alexs friend starting saying things to Alex.  Mean things about her sucking.  Well, Alex started crying.  She was so upset.  She cried all the way home.  I was pissed!!!    I know I am biased because she is my kid.  But, she is such a sweet kid.  I have raised her to treat others how she wants to be treated.  If she was a smart ass brat, I would tell her that if she can dish it out, well, then she can take it.  But, she isn't.  They call her smiley on the team because she is always smiling.  I have never heard her say anything bad to someone else.  When she gets tangled with someone on another team, and they fall, she feels bad about it.   Think I was growling?  Oh Hell yes!  So, their last practice is tomorrow.  It better be different, or there is going to be a problem.  :)

Hope everyone is having a great Halloween!!  This is probably our last one.  Maybe next year will be?  Don't know. 
XOXOXO

Monday, October 22, 2012

adoption regret?

What a beautiful day here!  Its overcast, dark, and rainy.  I love these days after a super hot summer.  Although by the end of winter, I will be wishing for sun.  LOL  Never happy.

So, things are still the same with my oldest.  I have had 2 texts with her since the beginning of July.  She was posting pictures on facebook of the baby.  Then a few weeks ago, she was posting that she was going to spend the weekend with her family.  This "family" is her bio-dad.  The one who denied she was even his until a few years ago, and only with a DNA test.  So, then all these pictures followed of her with her "family".  I think that was the straw that broke the camels back.  I have since blocked her on my facebook account.  She still shows to be "friends" with me, but I can no longer see anything she posts.  Its just getting to hurtful.  She will drive hours to go see him, but I am not even allowed her address?  WHAT?  So, yes, this is old news.  LOL

So, I have been having many questions regarding this.  I figured I would reach out to other Birth moms and see what their take is on this.  Am I suppose to live my life by what she deems appropriate?  How long am I suppose to be the bad guy?  I feel pissed that I am not able to do what I want with my life, etc...  Now, if this was Alex having a problem with surrogacy, it would be a totally different situation.  I would not pursue it, if she was having issues.

So, anyways, I contact this group.  Its a private group online.  You have to contact the admin, then they run your info through the group and make sure everyone is ok , and then give you clearance.  So, a few days go by after I contact her.  She sends me a link to their group with a long email.  It states that she doesn't know if I will be welcome, that I may be hit with many questions about how I could do surrogacy after doing adoption.  About how the members of this group are very anti-adoption, etc.....  So, I give this a few days of rest.  I was kind of taken back with this email.  I wanted to let this info settle in before I opened myself up to them.  I am in no way anti-adoption.  I do feel guilty about the adoption.  Just because I feel more like I sacrificed my child for my own survival.  I was the child of a 16 yr old, I knew that there was no way I would do this to either her or I.  So, adoption was the best thing.  No regrets!
So, I eventually passed on joining this group.  I sent the lady a email stating that I wouldn't be joining them and thank you, but I wasn't feeling like that was a good place for me.  She emailed me back stating that many of these women have since reunited with their children and are in a different place as I am.  I just let it go.  But, I wanted to say, Look lady!  My kid is 22 and this isn't something so new.  LOL  So, ya, still have questions.  I am really in a place where many people haven't been.  And, those that have, the children adopted are still very young. 

On the surrogacy front.  We got our PBO last week.  I think the guys were stressing that it wouldn't go through.  I wasn't worried.  The lawyer they are using is horrible.  If I see anyone contemplating using her, I will quickly tell them to go someone different.   One thing that I have found is that they had paperwork filed with the PBO to seal the records.  That was something new.  This is my 4th surrogacy.  This is the first time I have had the records sealed.  I don't like it.  I just get a bad feeling with it.  Some people won't get why it bothers me, but it does.  I just see sealing the records as trying to keep things a big secret.  Come on now.  This is 2 men I am carrying for.  Obviously they didn't have a egg between the 2 of them to create this baby.   So, the egg had to come from somewhere.  

Did my 1 hour GTT last week.  Drs office called me friday and said my #s came back elevated.  Usually when this happens, you do a 3 hour.  Not this time.  Drs office said they didn't want to mess around with a 3 hour.  Just going to refer me to a specialist/dietrician.  So, hopefully by today I will hear from them.  Since they called I have completely gone nuts.  Haha  I have tried reading so much stuff online about GD to see what I can/can't eat.   I might as well be reading chinese, because it isn't making much sense.  I need a idiots guide to GD.  LOL

Hope all is well!!!
xoxox

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Good times!

Had a my Drs appt scheduled for this last Wed.  Got a great suprise too! 
Was having lunch with my IF, W.  We were sitting there talking, and the waitress had asked us if we wanted appetizers.  Told her no, and tried to keep talking.  Not a minute later, I hear a mans voice to my right asking us if we wanted to order any appetizers.  I turned , truly irratated that we were being bothered once again to see my other IF, C, standing there.  It took me a minute to realize it was him because I thought it was another waiter.  LOL  Was so suprised and very excited!!  I had both of them at the same exact time.  I couldn't of asked for more.

Walked around the mall drooling on a new pair of Uggs.  LOL  Then headed over to the Drs appt.  We had the NP this time.  Whom is awesome!  She takes her time and shows you everything on the US.  My normal Dr is usually running behind and tried to get through the appt fast because he has the pregnant women piling up fast.  LOL  But, Nancy took her time and showed the guys everything on this little man.  She took a ton of pictures to give them.  Very exciting.  The little guy shows to be about 1lb 9 oz right now.  He loves to suck on his hands.  Had them in his mouth most of the time.  Was very cool!  Everything is right on target.  Of course, my weight is up 4 more lbs in the last month.  Bleep Bleepity Bleep!  LOL  I can't blame it on the kid.  LOL

Almost to the 3rd timester!  Can't even believe we are almost there.  Time really has been going fast.  3 more months and he will be here.  My guess is the 13th!!  Which is 3 months exactly from today.  Today also marks Miss Percys 10th Bday!!  This is my oldest surro babe.  10 years!  Dang!  Where has the time gone?  Hopefully I get to see her tomorrow.    I was thinking about having this little guy on the 13th.  Miss Karlie was also born on the 13th.  So, 13th it is!!  :)

We are doing pretty good here.  Alex is doing good.  Playing soccer 3xs a week.  Tried practicing with her on thursday.  (not like running down the field, just kicking the ball back and forth)  Ya, I paid for it that night.  Could barely walk.  LOL  Gregg was laughing at me.  Said I looked like a old lady.  Pregnant?  Who me?  LOL

Gregg is getting ready to head down to Mexico for our big race.  Or I should say His big race.  Boooo!  When I first started trying to do this surrogacy, my plan was to be delivered by the time this race started to I wouldn't miss the race.  I am one of the drivers of the race truck.  And, one of the very few women out there racing.  So, its a pretty big deal.  But, we know how plans go.  Right out the window.   Although, he has had some people who were suppose to help pit, back out.  I told him I could talk to the guys and see if I could go help.  But, I would only be shuttling people around.  I wouldn't be of much help for anything else.  He told me No.  Because i wouldn't listen and would be trying to do stuff I wasn't suppose to do.  LOL  This conversation took place the day before kicking the ball with Alex.  When I was in pain the next day don't think I didn't get the big, "I told you so!"  LOL  I am secretly hoping that too many people back out.  LOL  I told him to just postpone racing this race, and we will run the 250 in Feb.  That way I will be able to drive my portion.  He is deciding.  :)

Hope everyone is doing well!  I haven't posted much as there generally isn't to much to post.  Which is good.  My baby boy is growing well and that is what we are working towards!  :)

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Pregnancy shopping

So, we are getting to that point.  Will be in the 3rd trimester in a few weeks.  Yay!! 
But, I am getting to that BIG point.  LOL  I am starting to feel huge, and starting to waddle.  If I catch myself doing it, I try and straighten the walk up.  LOL  I told my husband I was going to start talking a hemroid pillow with me everywhere.  Not because I have hemroids, but because my pelvic bone is killing me if I sit on anything without a ton of padding.  :)

At home we have 1 recliner.  1.  Its my favorite place to be right now.  I kick up the foot rest and ahhhhh, relaxation.  My feel get elevated to cut down on swelling.  The problem with this is that my husband works hard.  He puts in long hours doing his thing and its hard work.  No sitting at a desk all day and talking on the phone.  His back hurts when he is done for the day.  Well, he also like to sit in the recliner.  See where I am going with this?  :)  If I have been working all day, I generally don't budge on the recliner, but if I have been home all day, I get up and let him have it.  So, my last few days, I have been searching for either a couch with 2 recliners, or just 2 seperate recliners.  Because , of course, we have to have one for Alex too.  LOL

Then, I know at the end of my pregnancy with Christopher, I was down to wearing slippers.  My feel were huge.  I lived last year in Uggs.  I love my Uggs.  They should be roomy enough for pregnant feet.  LOL  So, also shopping for some new Uggs. 

Any reason to shop, right?  LOL

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

crazy days

Things have been pretty busy here.  Got back from our trip.  And, boy what a wonderful vacation it was.  Jam packed, but a great time.    Had a Drs appt this past Friday.  One of my IFs, W, made it out for the appt.  Dr did a quick US.  Baby boy is right on target.  Has kind of a big head.  Hmpf.  That is NOT from me.  LOL  And, looks like he will be tall.  Again, NOT from me.  LOL  
Had a great visit with W.  It seemed like we talked a lot.  Not that we normally don't talk, but our conversations this time had more depth.  It was nice.    Hoping I get both of them on this next appt.  But, totally understand if it doesn't happen. 

Been working a lot.  My afternoon guy is now on vacation for the next 3 weeks.  So, I am working afternoons.   Plus, I have my sewing class on monday nights, Alex has flute lessons on monday afternoons, and then she has soccer Tues, thurs, and games on saturday.  Ya.  Time?  Not much.  LOL 

Feeling this little guy move so much now.    Enjoying the time I have with him right now.  Pretty soon he will be with his dads, so I am soaking it in now.  :)  It was funny.  Last night on my way home from work, I had the music cranked up in the car.  Was singing and dance driving.  LOL  And, little man was dancing right along with me.  Was kicking up a storm.  I was totally laughing.  Will make a nice memory.  :)

Started yoga today.  Oh yes!!!  I usually meditate daily.  With this pregnancy, I haven't been able to.  I can get my body all relaxed and quiet.  But, my heart is pumping so much blood through it, that I can feel it beating.  And, it totally throws my concentration off.  So, meditating has really been lost and I need it.  I came out of my yoga class with a sense of peace today.  It helped quiet down my mind and body, and feel like I had meditated.  Will def keep going. 

Hope everyone is doing well!!

xoxox

Thursday, September 6, 2012

The good, the bad, and the burnt

We have had such a adventure.
Tuesday Alex had surf lessons.  She went out with the instructor right away.  About 10 minutes of talking about surfing and BAM! Shes out there.  I was a nervous wreck.  She got up on her very first try.  I was crying.  I told Gregg I would rather her race cars, then surf.  LOL  After surfing, we went and got our snorkel gear.  We went to 2 different spots to snorkel.  It was beautiful seeing the fish.  The 2nd spot we went to, it was getting late.  The sun was starting to set, so we were in a rush to get in the water.  Gregg forgot to take the key to our rental out of his pocket.  Well, we were getting ready to go.  "Wheres the key?"  Ya, you guessed.  Somewhere in the ocean.  $350 later, we had a new rental and the other was towed away.  :(  Expensive mistake.  But, oh well.  It happens. 

Yesterday we set out to see Mt. Kilauea.  The volcano that is still spewing lava.  We got about a hour into our 3 hour drive, and all 3 of us were getting car sick.  The roads were really winding so we went exploring.  We took a right and were trying to get back to the ocean.  We came across the lava flows from the volcano.  Everything was black.  It was crazy.  Then one huge spot were it went to the ocean, people had started to build houses on it.  So, its just this huge black rock with random houses built on it.  No trees, no grass.  I told Gregg, I wonder if these people get depressed with the rocks?
Finally made our way back to town, and decided to snorkel some more.  The sunset was beautiful!!

Today was our BIG day.  This was the day we were planning on swimming with the dolphins.  Wild dolphins.  We chartered a boat and guide to take us out.  I was so worried about getting sea sick.  I took some dramamine with breakfast.  We headed out of the harbor and I was doing good.  We got going fast out to our spot.  I felt great!  I was jazzed.  No Sea sickness.  Finally we found the dolphins.  Got out of the boat and started snorkeling with the dolphins.  They were right next to me, under me, all around.  It was so amazing!!!!   We all got back in the boat to get ahead of the dolphins again.  Got back out, and the swam around us again.  But, right behind them came the most beautiful Manta Ray.  Right underneath me!!  It was so cool!!  About this time, I was starting to feel it though.  Not good.  Got back on the boat.  Sat for a bit, then started christening the side of the boat.  Yep, I started throwing up all off the side of the boat.  There was a total of 7 of us on the boat, and I was the only one hanging off the side.  Alex did great!!  She snorkeled a ton.  Was with the dolphins a lot and followed Big Bertha, the biggest manta ray I have ever seen!!  She did awesome!  Gregg and I didn't fare so well.  His tummy was upset before we even got on the boat, so he did all he could to just sit there and hold it together.  LOL  I told Alex she was adopted.  She is a fish and Gregg and I are wusses.  LOL

We leave to come home tomorrow.  I am ready.  I love it here, but I love home too!!
Love to all!!
xoxox

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Hawaii dreams

Well, I think this little guy really loves Hawaii.  Just like one of his Dads.  Getting ready to board the plane yesterday, and he started kicking like crazy.  He was also excited to get this trip on its way.  He has been moving a lot since getting here.  The plane ride was a bit rough.  My ankles swelled up pretty good on the plane.  Uhg.

Got here yesterday.  Went to get our car.  And, we don't have much luck with rental cars while on vacation.  LOL  We usually get a POS.  Or I blow it up while driving it.  LOL  Last time we went to Hawaii, we got a Suzuki Samari, that broke down in the middle of traffic.  It was def a Rent a Wreck.  LOL  Then last year on our trip to Mexico, all they had left at the rental place was a small truck with wooden sides.  LOL  Like the kind you see selling fruit on the corner.  So, when I got to the rental place, the guy showed me a pic of our rental car.  It was like a Chevy Aveo or something similar.  He asked if I wanted to upgrade to a Jeep or something else.  Well, Alex loves Jeeps.  And, this is for her Bday.  So, I suprised her by upgrading to a Jeep.  I got the only soft sided one they had.  Its a huge 4 door one.  We are going to take the top off today.  She was so excited when I told her that was our car.  :)

We finally got to the hotel and were exhausted.  Relaxed for a bit.  We had our Luau scheduled for last night.  Had about 30 minutes to kill so we decided to drive along the ocean for a bit.  Found a spot out of the way to stop.  The ocean side here is super rocky.  There is more rocky spots than beach areas.  But, we found this place right next to a church.  It was rocky but had a few tide pools.  So, Alex and I went exploring.  I saw a huge tidepool a bit out and decided to take a look.  Having to find a way to get there, I finally made it.  Alex and I were looking in there.  Lots of fish and lots of crabs.  I was so thrilled just to see the fish, when Alex goes "Mom, look!"  And, there in front of us is a HUGE sea turtle just sitting in the water.  He was so beautiful!!!!  It was just magical to see him.  That def just made this trip.  I went to take a picture of him and my camera goes, beep beep and dies.  Dead battery.  GAH!  LOL

We made our way to the Luau.  And, it was super cheesy.  LOL  We saw one in Oahu last time we went, and it was great!!  Seemed very authintic.  But, this one?  It was a super cheesy one.  Alex was bored most of the time.  Until the fire guy came out.  But, she could of probably done without a Luau.  Oh well. 

We are only 3 hours later than the time at home.  But, its getting to me.  I am usually up by 630-7 at home.  Guess what time I woke up here?  Yep 330 this morning.  Gregg and Alex are still sleeping and I am wide awake.  Its just 615 here now.    We have surf lessons scheduled for Alex today.  Then we will head out to snorkel.  Thats what I am waiting for.  I have been cleared by my Dr for dramamine.  LOL  Last time I tried to snorkel, I got super sick.  Motion sickness.  LOL  So, I didn't get to do it.  I am ready this time.  I want more turtles!!!  :)

Mahalo!!  )
xoxo