Get in , Sit down, Shut up , and hold on.......

So, I don't know if I updated yesterday.  LOL  I had my follicle check yesterday.  I had 2 follicles.  1 was 19 and the other was 16 or 17.  Wow.  Way ahead of schedule this month.
I have tested twice today with my OPKs and it was neg.  But, close.  I am hoping to wait out until tomorrow.  Really crampy.  Will test again here in a bit. 

So, I am a bit of a control freak.  I like things to go as planned.  But, I have no problem just packing up at the spur of the moment and doing stuff.  But, I have only child syndrome, and like things MY way.  Hahaha  Which is super hard to do when you are working with IPs that have to travel.  So, my IFs were procrastinating booking their flight earlier this cycle.  Which was frustrating me.  Then my IF, C, wanted me to get in for a follicle check on Friday instead of this Monday when I had a appt already.  So, I was getting irked.  Well, eat my words.  Haha  Good thing these guys are here to kick my butt into gear.  LOL  Good thing I went in Friday, since we are so far ahead.  And, good thing they didn't book their flight.  Because I need them here tomorrow and not Monday.    I just have to remember to let go and what will be, will be. 

So, here we are again.  I think that might of been what happened last month.  We triggered and did the first IUI, when my follicles would of been 18.  I know thats do able.  But, maybe not for me.  Maybe thats why it didn't stick.  The egg wasn't mature enough yet.  We will def be on the mature side this cycle.
I don't know.  Sounds good though.  :)

xoxox

Its just about that time again.

Yes, I am still here.  I keep checking on everyone elses blogs, but haven't felt much to update mine.  Feeling a little down about all of this.  Trying to be positive.   I have all my meds ready.  I got my trigger shot a few days ago.  Picked up the rest of the Crinone today.  Will eventually have to pick up more prometrium, but ok for now.  I also went and picked up a syringe from the Drs office today.  Yikes!

Had a follicle check this morning.  Had 2 follicles, 1 was a 19 and the other a 16 or 17.  Wow!  We are on CD13.  Last cycle, I had a scan on CD14, 2 follicles, size 15s.  So, we are ahead of schedule this month.  I wonder if its because its another medicated cycle on top of last month?  I don't know.  I am praying I don't surge tomorrow.  I have requested my IF to be here on Sunday.  If I surge tomorrow, I will trigger tomorrow.  Then do a home insem on Sunday and IUI on Tuesday.   Hopefully , I don't.  If all goes as planned, I will trigger for sure on Sunday, with IUIs on Mon-Tues.  I already made the appts for them both.  It makes it so much easier when I know when the appts will be.  Instead of trying to call the morning of, and plead and beg for a certain time.  (if I work). 

So, thats where we are.  I work this weekend, and then hopefully work just chills for the next few weeks. 
Will let you know what happens.

xoxo

Vacation planning!

All is quiet here.  Havn't killed or set fire to anyone yet.  LOL  Of course, the thought has crossed my mind.  :)  The clomid train is almost done.  Today is my last pill.  THANK GOD!!   I would probably be divorced and homeless if not.  :)  The 30th is when we get going.  I have a US that day and if my follicles are a good size, we will trigger then, and do IUIs the next 2 days.   If not, then we have bigger problems.  My IFs have stuff going on with work around that time, so its been a pain to plan this.  No stress though.  That will only delay ovulation.
This month has to work.  I will be in Mexico next month right around ovulation.  Although, I haven't really talked about how many times we want to try.  We had a set # in the contract, that I didn't think we would even need.  Now that we have hit it, we should probably decide what to do.  Hopefully we get pregnant though and the conversation is not needed.

Planning our Sept vacation.  We always do something the first/2nd week of Sept.  Alexs' and my Bday are the 7th and the 11th.  So, we usually try and plan some sort of trip.   Karlie's (my first TS) gave me a week in their time share in Cabo/Cancun.  This was when I had her, so its been a bit.  Well, air fare is expensive so we have never got around to using it.  Well, they told me they could sell it and just give me the cash to do with it what I wanted.  So, I said sure.  I ended up booking us a cruise with the $$.  None of us had ever been on a cruise before.  So, Gregg, Alex and I set sail last Sept for Mexico.  We had fun, decided thought that we are not really cruise people.  We like to explore, and thats kind of hard when you are shacked up on a boat.  LOL 
So, now this Sept.  We got a nice amount back from taxes.  I told Gregg that I would give him the $$ for racing Baja in Nov.  (Racing the Baja 1000 in Nov costs us a average of 10k.  This is just for one race.  So, we try and do many fundraisers and major saving throughout the year.)  So, I told him I would give him $$  towards the race, and anything over that amount we would use on our trip.  So, when I went to the accountants office, I was pleasantly suprised.  :)  We were trying to decide what to do.  Florida/Disney world, Hawaii, Cabo, Bahamas, etc....  If I ever get pregnant, we are going to Paris afterwards.  I have promised Alex a Paris trip to Euro Disney.  But, I have to get pregnant first.  So, needless to say, I would love to go back to Europe, but I can't afford that, so our vacation couldn't be too extensive.  LOL.....

So, I have been pricing trips.  Alex has been talking about going to Hawaii forever.  She just did a project at school on Mount Kailuea.  (sp?)  The volcano that constantly is spewing lava.  So, it looks like we are going to Hawaii to see it.  We are going to Kona/Hilo.  I have found some great prices on packages.  We are super excited!!

oh, and these hot flashes from the clomid are out of control.  Haha.  Getting ready for work this morning at 330am, and I had sweat pouring off me.  LOL

Lots of cookies!!

I haven't been able to get on here for a few days.  My internet connection here at work is soooooooo sssllooowww.   
But, here is where we are.  We are trying again.  I started clomid this past Tuesday.  So, today will day 3 of it.  Since my Drs appt was late Tuesday, I didn't get the clomid until Tuesday night.  So, my schedule taking it, is night time.  Not good.  It causes a bit of insomnia.  Sleeping?  Whats that?  I usually have not problem sleeping.  I love a good nights sleep, and then a nap about 1/2 way through the day.  Now?  I would love to sleep.  Haha.  NOt happening.
So, my appt.  I talked to Dr C.  He said it looks like our timing is just off.  Even with the scan and OPKs.  Also, he changed my progesterone supplement.  I will stay on the oral progesterone.  And, will add Crinone to the mix.  Crinone is a vaginally inserted gel.    So, that should be fun times.  LOL 
I went and saw Gregg after my appt.  Even he is ancy on whats going on.  He was asking me what the Dr said.  I told him he was putting me on a mixture of meds that should me a <sarcasm here> super fun person.  LOL  He said that cost extra.  Hahaha.

I really hope it works this time.  I am getting frustrated, and I am sure my IFs are super frustrated.   Dr C said not to stress.  This last cycle was good.  We are ovulating.  But, this time, I have swore off HPTs until 14dpt.  (days post trigger).  Once I decided I was done testing, I could feel the stress go away.  So, no more.  Of course I say that now, and with in a few weeks I will be dying to test.  Hahaha.

xoxox

4-16-12

Well, yesterday started off pretty crappy.  I had my own pity party, and had a good cry.  It seems like there is always that little bit of hope in the back of my mind.  And, starting my period just reconfirmed that we have to do this all over again. 
I ended up having a great day yesterday.  Alex and I went on a 2 hour bike ride.  Came home sun burnt.  :)  Then had a softball game.  We killed the other team.  They ended up calling the game early because there was no way they were going to come back.  15-0!  Came home to find Gregg fixed my motorcycle.  So, I took it for a spin.  Ahhhhhh.  It turned into a great day. 

Tomorrow I go see Dr. C.  Kind of scared to see what he is going to bump the progesterone up to. 

Here we go......

Pissy

My last progesterone pill was Thursday night.  I was suppose to take it Friday but since the beta was neg, I stopped taking it.  And, today I started spotting.  Which means either today or tomorrow will be CD1.  I went to one of my surrogacy boards this morning to see what was going on.  And, it seems like everyone is pregnant.  I am in a pissy mood today and finding it hard to feel happy for others.  I hate that this is not coming easy.  It is suppose to be a beautiful sunny day today.  Its time for a bike ride. 

Chin up.

So, I heard back from the Drs office.  My beta was a 3.  My progesterone dropped to 10.  So, it looks like we were pregnant but it just didn't stay.  I have a appt on Tuesday with Dr C.   I have many questions.

Today is a new day

Todays test is def not showing anything.  So, I am done testing.  I will get my  beta results back today but am not holding my breath.  I am hoping to stop progesterone tonight and get the ball rolling for the next cycle. 

Sad

I have been avoiding posting because I was waiting to know for sure what was going on.  I still don't know.  I started getting darker lines on Saturday.  Not DARK DARK, but darker than nothing.  It looked like they would get a little darker and then lighter the next day.  Yesterday my tests looked great.  Today nothing.  They look negative.  I am super bummed.  My poor IFs were super excited.  I was trying to be cautious but was excited. 

So, thats where we are.  I really was holding out to post a great picture of a "pregnant" HPT.  But, that is not happening.   I am pretty positive that this was a chemical pregnancy.  I don't know whats worse, just not getting pregnant or being teased.

Progesterone? Yes, Please.

Making you all sweat huh? Haven't updated. Probably thought I threw my phone out the window. :)

I called and got my progesterone results today. They came back at 36.2. The nurse said, "congrats! Looks like you had a really good ovulation!" I was super excited at first. Yay!! Go me!! But, then started thinking about it. I know, I know. Always back to that thinking thing. Thats the Virgo in me.

When I was pregnant with Mr. C, my progesterone came back at 33. No progesterone supplement, just me. So, now being on progesterone, I am wondering how much of that is me and how much is the pill? See what I mean? Def a Debbie Downer situation. So, back to square one. I will remain happy though, that I def ovulated. We had the makings for a perfect storm. LOL Good eggs, good swimmers, what more can you ask for? Hopefully by Monday we shall see a nice double line. It looks as if my trigger will be gone by tomorrow. Today its at the hold it up to the light and squint phase. I can still see a mark there. You know it could be stronger if I didn't drink so much water. Even when I get up in the morning, TMI, its still super light colored. Like almost clear. Maybe I should chug a couple of beers before bed? Haha JK. No really. :)

So, that is where we stand. I think I gave my poor IF, W, a heart attack today. I texted him my pro #s. And, when he got a chance to get back to me, I was in bed. (fighting a cold) But, I think he thought we had a + pregnancy test. Nope, not yet. Hoping though.

Big hugs to everyone tonight.
xoxo

Feeling mushy

Today I am feeling funky. Haha I had my progesterone draw this morning. I will call on my way to work tomorrow afternoon. Expect either happy news, or I will throw my phone out the window on the way to work. :)
So, I have been trying to keep myself busy the last few days. It helps to keep my mind off the 2ww.

I am feeling cheesy today. I am super happy at all I have done in surrogacy. I love seeing these babies. And, how happy they are. I love talking to Mr. C on the phone. Especially when he says, "Hi Jess!". LOL Makes me smile. The 4 couples I have helped have children, I know I could call anytime day or night, and if I needed something, they would be there without a question. That makes me all warm and fuzzy. Then my new couple. I totally love them! I have no reservations about them at all. It just feels "right'. KWIM? Like we are going in the right direction. (as long as my body cooperates.) :) Just happy thoughts.

I am on many msg boards. A few surrogacy, a couple 2ww ones, and a couple for people trying to get pregnant. I was asked Why I was on one of them. (one of the infertility boards) I have processed the question. I didn't want to blow up and say, because its a free world and I can go anywhere. LOL No, I didn't want to do that. But, being a TS. And, being a TS doing a medicated cycle is kind of hard. There is no information on the surrogate boards. Those cater mostly to GS doing IVF. Most TS stuff you see is for home insems. So, being the OCD person I can be. When I am cycling I have many questions. I want all the information I can find on statistics about follicle size, blood levels, IUI, what meds, amount, etc..... And, I like to read these things from people going through them. Not some MD page. And, many times the only time you can get that and bond with people is to go to a infertility board. I am not there to spy on anyone or to get intel. LOL I have questions for other going through medicated IUIs. Plus, I have lots of info for people going into surrogacy. IPs or SMs.

Onward and Upward!!
Love to all!!
xoxo

Not much to report here. Still testing out the trigger. Hopefully it will be gone on Friday. I am going in on Thursday for my progesterone draw. Crossing my fingers its a good number. :)

I have a couple of massages I bought on groupon a couple of weeks ago. I am going to call and set one up. I think that will help time go by. :) I have been saving them for the 2ww.

xoxo